I have a game for you to play with your friends. It’s called “birthday.” Here is how you play. You and a group of friends sing the “Happy Birthday” song simultaneously. You must all start at a normal speaking volume. After the song has started, the goal is to sing quieter and more uninspired than the person next to you. You can’t use a whisper voice or just mouth the words without making sound. Whoever can sing the quietest and most uninspiring rendition wins! Hint: Try to sell how uninspired you are with facial expressions! Obviously not smiling, That’s an instant disqualification. You’ll need a third party to referee who is indeed performing the quietest most uninspired rendition. The referee also plays a roll in trying to throw you off your game. They encourage you to sing louder and with more vigor obliviously as though aren’t aware object of the game is the exact opposite. At the end, when everyone is singing as quietly and uninspired as they possibly can without ceasing to sing entirely, the referee awards the winner with some kind of snack. This game is best played at 8:30am. Sound awesome? Well be jealous, because I get to play this game once a month for my work’s birthday celebrations. The only thing that is kind of a bummer is that I don’t have a video camera to capture what I’m sure is the most pathetic moment in music history every time it happens. That’s right, the single most pathetic moment in music history happens once a month at my work.

Trek T1 - $900 (West Sac)

Date: 2011-09-19, 9:50PM PDT
Reply to: sale-nzp4f-2607680037@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

Uh, guys? Is that a fucking Trek T1 Fixie? Uh yeah, you can bet every last one of your imodium ad’s it is. You’re all “I’m not a trek guy” well check it out, dude. Remember that part in Terminator 2 at the end where Arnold is all “now i know why you cry?” and they lower is ass into a caldron of molten metal? Well this frame is made out of that metal. Its a (whatever that caldron was filled with)/terminator/human and terminator tear alloy. That may or may not be true. Who knows where or how metal is made any way? No one. What I do know is this fucking cock sucker has custom DT swiss RR 1.2 rims laced to Paul high flange hubs. They were meticulously crafted by Carl Weathers (the buff black guy that gets his arm blown off at the end of predator). “What kind of cranks does it have?” Who fucking cares? You do, and so do I. That’s why I put a 49t Sugino 75 on there. Don’t have legs? That’s ok… Actually it’s not. Go fuck yourself you legless fuck. But there is hella more tight shit on this bike. Like a bladed carbon Felt seat post and Specialized Roman saddle which is hella comfortable. When I’m not riding, I mount my Roman saddle on a pole in my living room and post up in front of my TV, flip it to the hallmark channel, and watch hours of Golden Girls marathons. That’s real talk, my goose babies. Oh yeah, It’s a 56cm. I’m 8’6 352lbs, all muscle, so it rides a little small for me. It’s also a fixie, which means it’s a fixed gear bicycle as far as I know. So that’s probably all the cool shit on this bike, right? Fucking dead mother fucking wrong. There’s also Profile design cobra wing handle bars. Just take a second to think about that. A cobra with wings. No one is safe in a world where cobras have wings. raining venom from above. That is a harsh reality, man. Fortunately for the entire world this isn’t a literal cobra with wings, instead it’s the sickest possible bar that you could put on a modern style fixie. I digress, because there is other bullshit to talk about on this bike. There is a cane creek headset, Soma pedals with leather straps, I think it’s leopard leather but can’t confirm (sorry vegans), and a SRAM gold chain. The gold chain is tight because if you are the kind of asshole that likes wearing gold chains you can just take this off your bike and throw it around your neck, put some sunglasses on indoors and *boom* you’re set. You should wash the grease off first though, otherwise you’ll stain your Ed Hardy shirt, we all know what a bumout that is. So if you like hella awesome shit, this bike is probably for you.


Here are some pictures the paparazzi took. It’s hard to tell from the pictures, but this bike looks exactly like the bat mobile.










Tags: Jingle all the way, Terminator 1, 2, and 3 Last Action Hero, Predator, Total Recall, Twins, Junior, Kindergarten Cop, Conan the Barbarian, Commando, The Running Man, The Eraser, Governing, Dinosaur eggs, Wizardlore, Diarrhea, Other awesome bullshit